Allowing the Pain in our Lives to Help us Heal

(Holding on and Letting Go)

BY: Rowena Marie C. Siggaoat

(1st Year Guidance Counselor)

Looking back on my College days, I realized how foolish I was. I remembered being dependent in a relationship that made me looked like a desperate girl.  One time, my best friend introduced me to one of her friends in their school. I thought he would be the man that I will be living with for the rest of my life. I was totally wrong! He dump me for another girl. My world totally collapsed. I cried almost everyday and it took me a year to totally heal the wounds and overcome the situation. A year after when I got into another relationship that I believed would be not as painful as my previous one, I was again totally wrong! I trusted him with all my heart and I gave my whole life into it. He manipulated me as if we were already married. I was too dependent on him to the point that I have to ask him first in making decisions like cutting  my hair and as far as asking the color of my lingerie. The relationship lasted for a year and some months, the reason for his sudden change of heart is the growing fondness he had with his best friend which he eventually he fell in love with. So, I cried again but this time I already doubting God and started questioning Him. I said, “Of all the people in this world, why I am always experiencing the same situation? I was a very good child and I never did anything that will hurt other people” I was not productive at that time to the point that I do not want to go out of my room.

When I joined a religious group, the first question that I raised to my shepherd was “Why me?!” Then, she answered “For His so much love, do you think God will allow you to experience the pains without any reason?”  She also told me, “Did you experience happiness during your relationship? and if you did, why you still have anger in your heart? Remember, that man made you happy once in your life and that man made you also of what you are right now… A strong person” Simple questions but it will make you think, right?! That was the time I realized that I have to hold on to the memories that we had and letting go of the person I loved.

I had a conclusion that maybe God let me experienced that because of my profession.

For almost 1 year and some months, I heard same situation that happened to me that also happened to my counselees.                          

At least I can share something about it or at least I know how to deal with the situation. Don’t cha think?! Recently, I went through with the same pain that I’ve experienced before however I am not questioning God anymore nor fighting with my ex- boyfriend, I am just taking the situation lightly with the help of my friends and family…So, GIRLS and BOYS?! Think about it?! Don’t waste your time making your life miserable because it is miserable if you make it miserable! I hope you comprehend!!