KEEP  IT  LIGHT

BY:

CHRISTINE P. GARINGANAO

(3rd year Guidance Counselor)

Let’s stretch those muscles on your face ladies and gents… if you’re having a bad day lately or simply bored with your life…let’s try a few ticklers for you….read on and laugh out loud………

Mexican is at border!!!

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."

The Mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"
The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 5 English words in a sentence".

The Mexican man of course agrees.

The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 5 words are: Green, Pink, Yellow, Brown and statue. Now use them in 1 sentence."

The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow, Mr. Brown, statue?"

Irish girl confesses sins

The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."
"What is it, child?"
The girl said, "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am."

The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake."

*thanks to www.ahajokes.com